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An email I received in the evening.

1) WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, cheque or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, '
but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

*Perhaps from now on, I should pluck out boyfriend's internet cable and keep it with me (if so happens I'm at his place) whenever he's delaying and wasting time online instead of doing what I want him to do muahahhaaa... Besides, I'm a Scorpio and revenge should be my nature and I should be evil hahhaa...


2) UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

*Well I believe there are tonnes of women out there who are afraid of both waxing pain and spiders, I'm one of them. But seriously, who would understand women? Not even women themselves!! We are weird!! Or maybe we're just tend to be more emotional then men? But men can be quite complicated too... we're equal I suppose?


3) W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day....30,000 to a
man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

*I think men should have hearing aids with them. When they mumble, they expect you to hear what they said; when you speaks softly, they'd say you're too soft, please repeat and speak louder but when you speak louder they'd ask why are you emo. -___________-


4) Who does what

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, 'You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.'
The husband said, ' You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........'HEBREWS'

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

*HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Justin is not any of your fatty next door. He is GOoooOOOooDdDDddD... I'm amazed at the way he de-stress his mum at work..

CoCo:
eh that day what link you sent to your mummy?
Justin:
why you stress ah?
CoCo:
small kid dun talk so much.. gimme the link
Justin:
Wait ah...
Justin:
I forget adi later I ask mummy again but i give you this one

(After filteration)
150 Funniest Resume. Bloopers and Blunders

- Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
- “Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”
- “an applicant ghosted a headshot as the background to her resume”
- Employer: ” Myself; received pay raise for high sales.”
- Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”
- Skills: “I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”
- Skills: “I have technical skills that will take your breath away.”
- Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”
- Salary requirements: “The higher the better.”
- Work experience: “Two years as a blackjack and baccarat dealer. Strong emphasis on customer relations - a constant challenge considering how much money people lose and how angry they can get.”
- Application: Why should an employer hire you? “I bring doughnuts on Friday.”
- Hobbies: “Mushroom hunting.”
- Awards: “National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.”
- Educational background: “Highschool was a incredible experience.”
- Personal: “I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut.”
- References: “Please do not contact my immediate supervisor at the company. My colleagues will give me a better reference.”
- Experience: “My father is a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of computer experience.”